When a Young Adult enters residential treatment, there is often a tempting misconception that they should do the work on their own. Young Adults may want more autonomy in their therapeutic experience. Parents may wish to respect this push towards increased independence. Both may feel ready for a break from each other, particularly if the time before entering treatment was particularly stressful.
However, research tells us that parent involvement in Young Adults mental health treatment increases the likelihood Young Adults complete treatment and improves overall outcomes. At Confluence, parent involvement is a cornerstone of our model. Parent coaching and support groups, family therapy, on-site visits, and family intensives provide parents with a new set of insights and tools to support their Young Adult. Moreso, this approach provides a stronger platform for Young Adults to realize their goals in treatment.
The transition from adolescence to “emerging adulthood” is one of the most precarious phases of human development. It is a period of “in-betweens.” Young Adults are no longer adolescents, where family, school, and social patterns have been firmly established. And they are not yet established adults, where questions about family, career, home, and friends become more stably answered. Young Adults have the capacity and right to step out into the world more independently, and, in many ways, they still rely on their parents for logistical, financial, and emotional support. The roadmap for how emerging adulthood unfolds is the least scripted of any developmental phase.
At the same time, the parenting road map is equally unclear. The terms laid out during childhood and adolescence may seem outgrown. Renegotiating family expectations, establishing new boundaries, and working through ruptures to these new standards can frustrate families trying to establish an identity with new adults in the system. There may be periods of dependency extending beyond what parents had planned for. Parents may struggle to figure out how to help as their influence takes a new shape. Clearly, there is still parenting to do, but how that looks may be less obvious.
Often, there are recent relationship challenges between Young Adults and their parents in the time just before entering treatment. Parent involvement addresses the emotional rupture that may precede residential placement. By the time a Young Adult enters Confluence, their relationship with their parents is often accompanied by a range of emotions. Grief, confusion, sadness, anger, anxiety or any number of other feelings are often swirling in the space between Young Adults and their parents.
When parents participate in therapy with their Young Adult, they learn to validate their child’s internal experience without necessarily agreeing with their choices or behavior. Young Adults learn to express themselves more authentically without the need to control or change their parents’ perspectives. This creates a bridge of trust. When a young adult feels heard and understood by their primary attachment figures, their physiological “threat response” decreases, making them more receptive to the work of therapy.
Though Young Adults are striving towards increased autonomy and independence, they are – and will continue to be – part of the relational ecosystem. This ecosystem forms within the family and continues to unfold in new relationships developed over the lifespan. The internal blueprint for safety, boundaries, conflict, and emotional regulation is part of the psychological picture that impacts current mental health. A better understanding of this relational ecosystem better equips Young Adults to understand and improve their psychological well-being.
The rules established for relationships in the family system are part of an internal working model about how all relationships are “supposed” to work. They construct what closeness feels like. They organize how distance is experienced. These attachment styles are superimposed on all the relationships a person forms. Whether defined by anxiety, avoidance, or disorganization, parent involvement in treatment helps work towards increased security in relationships. This security is a basis not just for relational health but also for overall mental health.
One final point. Young Adults will need their parents’ support after treatment. If parents are familiar with the clinical work their Young Adults have been doing, they will be better equipped to provide this support. Understanding the skills and concepts, having the language, and even practicing these tools themselves help in two ways. On the one hand, parents may experience improvement in their own well-being as they explore the clinical tools. On the other hand, they can be an added resource, well-versed in the skills and concepts that their Young Adult has been using.
When parents are involved, residential treatment becomes a collaborative effort to rebuild a healthier, more connected family experience. Young Adults feel more understood and accepted. Parents feel increasingly included while respecting their new role as parents of Young Adults. And both can support each other as they take the next step in their journeys.